a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”
In english, we say “shut the fuck up” but in spanish they say “cierra la boca puta” which translates to shut your bitch mouth and i think thats beautiful
songs that have an amazingly catchy and cool tune but really uncomfortable lyrics
I think we’re all thinking of the same thing but don’t dare speak its name for fear of summoning it.
We don’t talk about it
ARE THOSE BLURRED FUCKING LIMES
I’ve never broken a bone which just seems too suspicious to me I probably don’t have any bones
I have no heart either…but eh
It’s important to talk about how vaccines don’t cause autism, but can we please also talk about how much people must hate autism if they’d rather expose their child to polio, measles and chickenpox than autism?
-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this